It's been a long week, and it's only Tuesday.
Saturday was 5 months since we lost Elisa
Father's day was extremely hard
Work yesterday was hard both mentally and emotionally for many reasons
And this morning I got the text from my brother that my sister-in-law was in labor.
I tried all day to not think about it. I was really hoping that she could hold out a little longer, and maybe be born tomorrow. Today's is Mr V's father's birthday, and it just seemed cruel that their baby would be born on this day, when Mr V doesn't have his father here, or his daughters.
I got the text announcing her birth, after I got home from work today. Ironically, I received the text as I was making the last round of edits on the letter I plan to send to the hospital where Elisa was born, outlining the many ways we felt disrespected when she was born.
It all just seems so unfair. My husband missing his father today, and me, proofreading a letter talking about our daughter's stillbirth, and then 15 minutes away in the same hospital we lost Elisa, my brother and sister-in-law are welcoming their healthy baby girl.
With as hard as this week has already been, I really don't know what I am going to do when I go to meet the baby. I want so much to be happy for them, and I truly am. But I am also sad for myself.
Be gentle on yourself. See the new little one when you are ready; that may not be this week, or next. Prayers as you navigate this time.
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