It's been a while since I've written, and I am not going to lie, it is because the last month has been hard. 4 pregnancy announcements by friends in the last three weeks and I have just been mad and sad.
And all I have had over the last month since writing is another set of BFN and now just waiting for CD1, I am just getting so discouraged. Two out of the 4 people are good friends I talked to last year when I was pregnant with Elisa and they said they weren't ready to have a baby, but were going to try after big trips this year, one to Italy, and the other to Ireland.
Well they went on their trips, and doing the math based on their due dates, they both got pregnant right away.
It just seems like everyone else out there gets pregnant just by thinking about it, and stay on their perfect little plans. And I am stuck here, with over three years of trying (I know, not as long as so many others out there) with my heart broken twice by two babies in heaven.
I know we have only been really actively trying for 3 months, but it is just so hard.
And to top it all of, I know that even if we are able to get pregnant, it is not going to fix things. I still will never get my babies back.
I am just so heartbroken on so many levels
