It's been three months since we said hello and goodbye to Elisa. Whenever I had to write or type the data today, I would slip and write January 20th, instead of April 20th. The brain has it's own way of showing me it hasn't forgotten. I know I will never forget, but it was amazing to me how second nature it was to write her birth day instead of today's actual date. Every. Single. Time.
It feels like I just saw her yesterday, and like it has been an eternity all at the same time.
I keep thinking back to how different my life would be right now if she was here. I would be on maternity leave by now, and I would have a baby girl I could dress in cute new spring dresses now that the weather is nice and the sun is shining. Now it seems like the sun shining is just a cruel joke. mocking me as I see people out walking with their strollers. It is getting so hard not to be jealous, but I know I don't want to be that kind of person, I just miss my baby girl so much
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